Your Brain- Amazing, but Perhaps Not in the Mornings
Ladies and gents, I'm afraid the randomness is back. I can't seem to get a coherent train of thought together these days. Instead, what I have are these little cabooses that refuse to run on the same track.
Therefore, I give to you.....
Things I think of in the shower/bog which make me late for work:-
1. You know the Desert Island Discs thing? Where you pick the top 10 or top 20 or whatever number of music albums you'd like to have with you should you be marooned on a desert island, and the island isn't in the Caribbean or something? Oh, you people can google right- I can't be arsed to link, sorry.
Anyway, I was thinking (as you do whilst in the bog), why music albums? What are the chances of having a CD player with you? And even if you do have one, what happens when the batteries run out? Do you then proceed to eat your discs? If there are any pedants out there who say 'what about vinyl'? My answer is, 'well, if you think you're going to have a gramophone/turntable on that desert island then erm...ok' (See how intense my thought processes can be in the toilet?)
So then I thought, why not Desert Island Books- it makes more sense- your favourite books can help stave insanity (should a voleyball not be available for you to paint a face on using of all things, your own blood). Heck, I talk to myself even in crowds, so insanity for me I think, is not too far of a possibility.
Erm, back to the Desert Island Books. Mine would be, in random order and no particular quantum:
- The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
Favourite book of all time. My copy is dog-eared deliberately to passages that I particularly love, like (predictably) the 'organ of fire' bit, and the passages describing winds in the desert (doesn't it make your spine tingle to hear names like the the aajej?)
- Midnight's Children, Haroun and the Sea of Stories and The Moor's Last Sigh, Salman Rushdie
Because when on a desert island, it is important to remember the many ways that the English language can be played around with. And the aridity of a desert island needs to be countered with the richness of Rushdie's stories.
- Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman.
What is the use of being on a desert island if you don't take time out to shout I Sing the Body Electric to the waves? Plus, by the time you get through the whole of Song of Myself the rescue boat might actually have arrived.
- A Collection of Chairil Anwar's poems.
Is anything more solitary than Aku?
- The Emily series, L. M. Montgomery
Some people have comfort food, I have comfort reads.
- A copy of the Qur'an with a good transliteration
Clearly, the best way to spend time on a desert island.
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2. This line has been going through my head the whole day, but I don't know what to do with it. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Anyway, I thought I'd just jot it down here so I don't regret it when someone else claims it for their own. Unless someone already has claimed it, in which case- I'm sorry, please keep the litigators away:-
In the madness of crowds, a persistent streak of sanity runs through
Actually, once it's on blank screen, it doesn't look so profound. Meh. And yes, I know the 'madness of crowds' bit isn't really original. Oh well.
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3. Please tell me whether our ol' friend BOIW is allowed to get away with pronouncing "threshold" as "trunch-hold" and using words like "coincident" in reports? Why haven't the Gods of Language hurled hellfire and the thickest Oxford/Webster dictionaries on her? Why hasn't she been hit by lightnings of grammar? Why? Why?
And why am I not being paid extra to proofread her work?
Oh, I found out from whence her interesting languange might have spawned. Here, I suppose.
Justice will be served!!! And it won't be a 'coincident' either.
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Have a good weekend! Stay away from the fundamentalists!
nads went at 16:36