Lagi-lagi Driver Bangang
Background: The traffic diversions caused by the rockfall near Bukit Lanjan have resulted in this massive traffic jam on the road in front of INTAN which happens to be the road I take back from work. Considering the fact that I’m one of those blessed KL-ites whose home is less than 10 minutes from her office, I can’t complain about the jam. It’s temporary and what’s another 5 minutes anyway?
What I can’t stand however, are those drivers of, whether coincidentally or not, ‘powerful cars’ (I swear I only spotted about 1 Kelisa for every 20 BMWs, Mercs and at the very least Wajas among them) who think nothing of taking the lane that heads to Seremban and then cutting the queue into the left lane that heads to Taman Tun/ Seksyen 16, by muscling their huge asses into the front of the lane, sometimes causing near accidents.
The story you are about to read, should you choose to read it, is therefore a true re-enactment. No names (nor license plates) have been spared.
I know I’m a bit too ranty for the good of my blood pressure, but just indulge me this time. This blog is after all one of the things that keeps me from going completely postal, or in the Malaysian context “doing a Prebet Adam”. What with courteous drivers, friendly sales assistants and other friendly Malaysians (please tell me you spot the sarcasm dripping from my tongue) it’s a wonder no one has chosen to imitate Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
Anyway, Apai (that’s Mr. Nads for those not in the know) and I were driving peacefully home from Workplace this evening, or, as peacefully as it can be with two people hoping that the idiots cutting the queue on the lane to our right could lip-read certain choice epithets like “Why don’t you drive all the way to Seremban you kiasu Merc-driving b#@%#$* when we spotted this silver blue Waja (I couldn’t tell the actual colour- the car seemed to be just as dirty as the owner) trying to butt its way in front of our car. Apai, being the conscientious driver concerned with fair-play and trying to ”Menyambut Seruan Perdana Menteri Kita” (Direct translation: Respond to the Call of Our Prime Minister) to teach kiasu drivers a lesson adamantly refused to give way causing said kiasu driver to try to nose his way in front of the car which was in front of us, a black Camry.
The driver of the black Camry, apparently imbued with the same patriotic spirit as Mr Apai, fought gallantly to prevent the kiasu Waja driver from getting into the lane, to the cheers of the passengers of the car behind him (ie me and Apai). Kiasu driver then nearly rammed the left side of his car (with his wife/girlfriend/mistress/sister/female-type passenger sitting in front, mind you) into the right side of the Camry in a show of machismo, which led to hisses and boos from said audience (ie: me and Apai, duh). The black Camry, unable to fight no more, reluctantly gave way and Waja with huge kiasu butt (I tell you, its butt was bigger than our Waja’s butt) triumphantly (again with louder hisses and boos from audience) muscled its way in front of us.
Being the killjoy that I am however, I would like to somewhat dampen the joy of the driver of a Silver-blue Waja with license plate number WJP 5246 (hey, what else are you going to do in a traffic jam but curse idiot drivers and memorise license plate numbers?) by telling him “Hahaha!!! I hope you saw us laughing into your smug pan-Asian face when we saw that you were stuck in a more massive jam you could neither ram, butt nor muscle your way out of on the road to Seksyen 16!” Pbbbhhhhht.
Note: No Wajas were hurt in the writing of this entry. The mention of the driver’s pan-Asian face is not intended as a slur on well, pan-Asian people but rather so the kiasu driver can be identified more explicitly for the benefit of rotten-tomato throwers, rock-slingers, etc.
AnotherNote: Apai and I are actually seriously thinking of creating a website which will provide a platform for similar rants on the Things that Annoy Malaysians the Most about Other Malaysians (e.g; said kiasu drivers, double-parkers, motorcyclists who ‘Juga Mahu Mati’, ‘friendly’ sales people etc.) tentatively named ‘www.bengang.com’. Help is welcome. Yes, I’m serious. No, we do not need a kid to make us less bored and fill up our time. Thank you.
nads went at 19:40