Ta-dah!
"For women, the Vespa had an added advantage...they could ride it without spreading their legs, which for a woman, is always dangerous."
Italian dude on TV talking about the Vespa
I've been a very bad journaller (is that a word and if it isn't, should I care?), haven't I? I suppose this is where I apologise and claim chronic busy-ness due to certain *ahem* events going on in my ever-interesting life, but that claim would actually be false since in my case, all I had to do for the *ahem* event itself was get ready on time, (attempt to) look pretty after getting ready and not melt my make-up, after which I had to pose for a ridiculuos amount of photos (please God don't let that be my 15 minutes of fame). Incidentally, I didn't know there were so many different layers to make-up and I don't think that I could stand going through the whole process of putting on the modern-day woman's equivalent of war paint (Min's description) before declaring myself ready to face the world every day and I salute any woman who can put on her face in less than half an hour- but hey, anything that'll make my normally 'sepet' eyes look bigger and my pores smaller than the moon's craters can't be all that bad, right. Thanks to Mel for the almost-professional job, shows you that reading Cosmo and ordering make-up through the Net do have their benefits.
Since I is bored (yes I is massacring me England talk) let's indulge in a bit of a cultural lesson and talk about what happens in a Malay engagement ceremony. Or my version of it, at least. Before a Malay girl becomes engaged, she needs to be approached first. In the old days, before the advent of culturally eroding 'Western influences' like McDonalds, Mexican telenovelas and the *ahem* Internet, the guy's mother would normally employ the services of the village's resident busybody to (I'm putting this as delicately as possible) 'investigate' the girl in question and her family. Now apparently, all the guy needs to do is harrass the girl in question until she consents to date him and before you know it, four years have passed and they're telling their respective parents that they think it's time to join the legions of smug marrieds. Said parents then meet up and after the mothers indulge in reverse-promotion of their respective offspring (examples include the girl's mother telling the guy's mom that her daughter's only edible attempt in the kitchen is boiling water with an electric kettle while the latter reciprocates by saying that her 28-year-old son is really still a baby as evidenced by his massive Star Wars collection), decide that, previous proclamations of wanting small, modern and tasteful weddings for their children to the contrary, they now want the whole traditional, huge yet still tasteful (someone spot the oxymoron here) shebang. This, of course, entails an engagement ceremony, originally declared to be on a small-scale. Apparently, some people's concept of 'small' is defined by inviting 'close family and friends only', where 'close' in turn means 100 men, women and screaming babies from each side. But, I digress. What I meant to say was, a 'amall Malay engagement ceremony' means going to that wonderful area known as Jalan TAR/Masjid India. Every bride-to-be in the Klang Valley should now be familiar with this place and every groom-to-be cringes at the mere thought of having to go there. Mothers of spouses-to-be however, insist on going there on alternate days in order to find 'the perfect cloth/bead/ribbon' for hantaran-making purposes (if anyone wants to know what hantaran is, mail me, I can't be bothered to explain now).
The day of reckoning finally arrives. At this point the fiancees to be have been told to 'leave everything to the older folks' so often that they would have wished that they had eloped in Golok rather than do the 'sensible thing' and the girl's father has had his nerves so frazzled such that he has threatened to disown all his brothers for not helping out enough. This, despite the fact that their house would have been swarmed by relatives since morning. A word of warning though, if you are getting engaged at night, and your uncle has offered the use of his outdoor spotlights, and your house has got 3 air-conditioners going at the same time, be prepared with a power generator, because in all probability, there will be a blackout, during which you will feel like crying and the only thing that's stopping you from doing so is the thought of your mascara running. All I can say is Thank God that I'd finished being made up by then. And another thing, a back entrance would be handy if in the midst of said blackout, you decide to keep from sweating by sitting in your wonderful friend's car, and the 'other side' arrives, causing you and friends to resort to ridiculous 'cover-up' tactics to hide from them (can anyone tell me why the girl has to look so good when the only time she's supposed to be seen is when the ring is being put on? Oh, I forgot the photo session at the end). Did I also mention that the guy plays no part whatsoever in the engagement? Of course, if he's caring and conscientious, he will begin to panic at being told of having to stall his side of the family while the electricity at the girl's house is being fixed after which he will constantly call and SMS the girl (who at this point is possibly not thinking of anything beyond tearing off the beads on her scarf and hurling them at the fuse-box) with some wonderful words of support such as 'Is it hot?' (this, of course being Malaysia and the temperature being 31 degrees Celcius). Fortunately enough, even Murphy's Law had exhausted itself and the lights were fixed in time. Yes folks, TNB will be prompt if 10 people constantly harrass them on a minute-by-minute basis and complain, rage, cry and beg in turn.
So that's that. There is now a lovely ring on my finger and my Mom is taking a hiatus before preparing for the Main Event. God help me.
P/S- Am figuring out a way of putting the photos on the Net. Since I'm too miserly to apply for a Diaryland Gold Membership, I'll probably have to resort to parasiting on someone else's site. Watch this space if interested.
nads went at 15:43