Will the 'Friendly Malaysian' please stand up?
I'd like to (in Hitz.fm parlance) 'shout-out' to a few of my favourite Malaysians:-
1. Kapcai riders with death-wishes, particularly the two gentlemen who hit our front bumper, thus taking a chunk out of it in the process of 'menyelit-ing' while we were stuck in the traffic jam. I would like to personally thank the pillion rider especially, for looking back and f$#@ing grinning as the rider rode off into the sunset, hopefully to meet the business end of a trailer.
Apparently those "Mereka juga mahu hidup" adverts only apply to motorcyclists who don't swerve in and out of traffic, who not only switch on their lights after dark, but also wear reflectors(!), and (gasp!) signal. I assume all others who don't behave this way are suicidal and therefore fair game. Yesterday, I came close to saluting the guy who opened his car-door in the face of a selit-ing motorcyclist.
2. Waitrons, salespeople and other 'service industry' people who have made me feel so welcomed from the moment I arrived home, namely:-
The girl at the ERL counter in KLIA who not only continued gossipping on the phone when we came to buy our tickets, but who assiduously avoided eye-contact. One wonders what would happen when the automated ticket machines, following the fate of countless machines in Malaysia, malfunction. Would she actually discover that her actual job, from which she draws her livelihood, is to sell tickets, as opposed to ignoring customers?
The wait-staff at the food court near my place who, I think, are convinced that I am possessed of ESP, since their modus operandi consists of:- (1) Ambush customers as soon as their butts touch the greasy plastic chairs. (2) Put laminated yet still 'lunyai' menus on table (3) Remain silent throughout. (4) Glare when we order from the one Chinese-owned (but infinitely superior) stall. Even all this however, is preferable to that one waitress at the Lake Club who I think has managed to retain employment due to her ability to curdle milk with her facial expression when meeting customers.
Various counter people who look at me like I am the scum of the earth when I go to them. I feel compelled to kow-tow and exclaim, "Oh, superior one, please forgive this humble servant for disturbing your life by attempting to pay at your counter thereby contributing towards your salary!"
What is it, I wonder? Is someone holding a gun to these people's heads forcing them to do their jobs? If you're not happy at your job, quit! If you're unhappy to be alive, kill yourself! Why make me feel crappy giving your shop custom?
3. Others for whom the word 'Sorry' remains absent from their vocabulary. Perhaps I have been spoiled, but apparently there exist places on this earth where, if you for instance, neglect to hold the door for someone whose hands are full, or have accidentally nudged, or perhaps even, whose car you have decorated with a dent, you (get this) apologize. I once said sorry to a woman in Mega Mall who I had nudged and she looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Perhaps, to her, I was.
I know I'm starting to sound like a patronizing graduate from foreign climes who continuously extols the virtues of another country. I also know that I'm speaking from the benefit of time and distance, which have made me forget the miserable weather, the crap (and expensive) food and the occasional rascist taunt. I do however, remember that cashiers said 'hi', even if you could see from their averted eyes that they thought the girl in the headscarf was a potential suicide bomber, and said 'thank you' at least three times when you purchased something. And people actually held doors open for other people. And get this, drivers not only actually stopped at zebra crossings, but gave way to other drivers. And we're talking about a people who've been branded reserved. What does that make us Malaysians? Or rather, maybe it's just the KL-ites I've come across- are sullen demeanours, maniacal driving and this insane dog-eat-dog kiasu mindset the price we're paying for KLCC?
One of these days I might be forced to stand in the middle foyer of Mega Mall and scream,
"WHAT THE F^&% IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!"
Don't say I didn't warn ya.
nads went at 16:21