Vent
Amr ibn Maimoon Awdi (Radhiallaahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) advised one person, ‘Appreciate five things before five (things): a) Your youth before old age; b) Your good health before your sickness; c) Your wealth before your poverty; d) Your free time before your involvement; and e) Your life before your death.’
(Mishkat pg.441; Me’raaj)
Thought: I don't think it's wise to mix coffee and politics. Twisted logic I know, but let's consider these situations-
Sit. 1: I was having breakfast coffee while reading that it's been more than a year since Ezam Noor, Hishamuddin Rais, Tian Chua, Saari Sungib et. al were arrested under the ISA (and of course, have not been released) on Aliran, along with their affidavits. Meanwhile, the news on Radio One chose today to repeatedly blather on about the World Cup and to repeatedly speculate about the possibility of Madonna being pregnant.
Sit. 2: I was having coffee while on my evening study break when I surfed into Enmiya'sjournal. Enmiya's a Malaysian studying in al-Azhar who interlaces tales of Malaysian student life in Egypt with passionately intelligent commentaries about Islam and politics in Malaysia and the Middle East.[Betul ke ni, Enmiya? :)] In one of his posts he harangues the fact that most members of the Malaysian public have benignly chosen to 'forget and forgive' the 'mysterious' disappearance of millions of Ringgit of KWSP and Tabung Haji funds, in the same style that we 'forgot and forgive' Perwaja steel, for instance. When it comes to 'debt forgiveness', Bono can't hold a candle to us.
Somehow, the aftermath of both these situations made me angry. So angry that I began pacing while holding an angst-filled monologue in my room for a couple of minutes. This monologue of course, was in low decibles- I don't wish to be carted off to the special ward they have reserved for pressured students at the University Hospital. Therefore I can only conclude that politics and coffee are a lethal mix for me.
Either that, or I can become furious about the status quo even without the coffee. I can become furious because:
- I am sick of hearing that England only drew one-all with Sweden because 'Becks was tired/ the Second half was crap/ Becks was tired so the secod half was crap' and 'Madonna's father thinks she may be pregnant' (He's HER father, so of course he should act as a paternal pregnancy test kit) while Ariel Sharon merrily bombs the living daylights of a few more hundred Palestinians, and Mahathir is 'accepted by Washington' because he has 'clamped down on terrorists' by arresting 'fundamentalists' (Read: Opposition party leaders, a few student activists, some religious teachers and the wife of a detainee) without trial. Congtratulations Malaysia, you only lost 0-4 to Brazil, and you've only dropped 4 points in the UN Human Development Index.
- My mind is capable of such selective amnesia and of such de-sensitisation that I can watch visuals of Somalians starving to death, Palestinians sifting through the rubble of their bombed homes and flood victims in Malaysia while peacefully eating dinner, after which I will watch Survivor and tell my sister 'God, they have it rough don't they?' (not ironically, at that). I am also capable of going through life as a typical student, enjoying myself like a tourist on public money and complaining about having to go to the library without even once thinking that there is something wrong with the system until I am jolted.
- I was jolted today.
Sometimes, you just don't want to be jolted. Sometimes you just want to forget. Sometimes you want to be de-sensitised. Ignorance is blissfully convenient. Until you overdose on it. I go through phases of indulging and overdosing, I guess.
So now, I am spending my dinner break (yes, I studied today, I want to be a responsible student) ranting. Nik Nazmi once said that we use English when we want to inform and Bahasa Malaysia when we are impassioned. Someone else (you know who you are and you don't want to be credited anyway) said according to Salleh ben Joned, the true bilingual can switch between languages in the blink of an eye (or words to that effect). Since I am angry (Orang Melayu je ke yang mengamuk? 'Amok' comes from Malay doesn't it? Are there any other peoples who run around with a parang foaming at the mouth when under severe duress?) and trying to be bilingual, izinkan saya menulis dalam Bahasa Ibunda saya sendiri. Lagipun kadang-kadang kepala otak aku dah bosan kena jajah. Maaf kalau bahasa aku kasar, orang marah jarang berlembut.
Engkau kata aku pelajar, tanggungjawab aku hanyalah belajar, tak payah nak rimaskan kepala otak memikirkan pasal hal yang hanya orang dewasa, yang jadi 'pemimpin' saja patut fikirkan. Buat apa risau pasal benda yang kononnya takde kaitan dengan aku? Apa aku tau, aku budak hingusan. Bukan ke hidup aku senang? Bukan ke kesenangan itu sebab 'kepandaian' pemerintah? (Ye ke, aku orang Islam, aku tahu kesenangan dan kesusahan tu kurniaan Allah.).Kenapa aku senang-senang bazirkan waktu muda aku?Aku nak tanya kau balik, adakah kau lebih suka kalau aku buat tak kisah? Aku rasa kau lagi suka kalau aku 'manfaatkan' zaman muda aku dengan joli sana-sini, kau lagi rela aku terlompat-lompat di disko Kay El, kan? Disko kan dah gantikan madrasah (Aku tak faham- kau tutup sekolah agama sebab kau kata tempat tu dipersalahgunakan untuk politik, tapi kau bukak lagi banyak disko yang diperbetulgunakan untuk orang berkhayal. Lepas tu kau heran kenapa 'gejala maksiat kian menular di kalangan pemuda Melayu').Terkinja-kinja sampai lupa yang negara aku kononnya negara Islam (ada ke negara Islam yang jangan nak kata haramkan arak, malah halalkan penjualan arak, walaupun tak rasmi, kepada orang Islam sendiri?), lupa akhirat, ingat dunia. Ingatkan dunia pun dunia ciptaan sendiri, dunia yang hanya untuk aku- yang tak ada orang miskin, tak ada perang, tak ada dosa (kalau dalam badan ada berbotol-botol arak, dalam telinga ada bertali-tali muzik yang tak seakan muzik, apa yang tak indah).Kan lebih elok, tak menyusahkan sesiapa?
Kau kata aku pelajar, dapat biasiswa pulak tu, kenapa tak bersyukur kepada pihak yang dah 'kurniakan' rezeki kepada aku (Ye ke, setahu aku hanya Allah yang boleh mengurniakan rezeki). Kenapa aku perlekeh-lekehkan duit rakyat? (Tahu pun duit rakyat, tadi kata dia yang bagi, macam lah duit tu duit dia). Habis tu, kau lagi rela aku songlap duit rakyat terang-terangan (di dalam gelap)macam kau? Lebih elok kalau aku ambil berjuta-juta duit KWSP kan? Orang tak marah- mereka kata 'Ambillah wang yang aku simpan untuk "sara hari tua" aku. Aku tak kisah, biarlah hari tua aku merana, aku tetap undi kau nanti. Aku tak tanya pun macamana kau boleh ambik. Aku kan mudah lupa'. Lebih elok kalau aku ambik wang Tabung Haji kan? Wang yang pak cik, mak cik kat kampung simpan nak mengerjakan ibadah, kononnya sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit, tengok-tengok bukit dah kena tarah (bukit kat Genting kau boleh buat, ni pulak bukit metaphor). Orang tak marah- mereka kata 'Ambillah wang yang aku simpan nak sambut seruan Allah. Tak apa, kau naikkan harga pakej, kami tak kisah, kau turunkan kualiti pakej, kan cubaan, ni pun cubaan jugak. Aku tetap undi kau nanti. Aku kan mudah lupa'.
Dah, sabar tu separuh daripada iman. Iman aku cetek. Baik aku ambik wudhu', solat Maghrib.
Wallahu'alam.
nads went at 20:28